Life In The McFast Lane

The escape proves easy enough.The acceleration and power of the CTS is such that Sam is long gone before the Keystone Paparazzi can pilfer there own vehicles.

Sam just wants to get home.A big map screen pops up and Kat is instructing him to turn right onto I-75.Soon,they are zooming along travelling north.Opening the extra large moon roof,smiling Sam says,"Kat,how about some rock jams?"

"Opening Pandora's Box to 'Rock Jams'."

'The Black Keys' ,'10 am Automatic'["What about the night makes you change/From sweet to deranged? ..."] starts blaring out the surround sound speakers at cracking volume.[What about my voice Tells you who Who's been wrong to you?]

As Sam weaves in and out of traffic,other terrific songs from,Wilco (Kidsmoke)and Neil Young('Ordinary People') rock out.Zooom!

"Exit right onto Rt.47,Sam,"suggests Kat as the map screen lites the way.Sam Pushes the speedy,vibrant Caddy up the exit ramp.When Sam gets to the stop light,he realizes something is wrong.

Coming off Rt.47,there are too many white Tv type trucks with large antennae and satellite dishes circling the traffic light.Through the open roof Sam can hear not one,but two helicopters.

Stating the obvious,Kat says,"They're on to us,Sam.Turn right and make a run for it,"Sam presses the pedal to the metal.Led Zeppelin's 'Rock and Roll' comes on the hi-fi.

Taking the CTS as fast as the law will safely allow,Sam rockets through the the streets.He safely passes through a stale yellow.A cop is at the intersection,so the paparazzi jerks have got to stop.Sam is home free.

Suddenly,just as he is about to cross a bridge over the Yahoo River,a helicopter swoops low on the other side of the bridge.The light behind Sam has turned green.He is trapped.

Sam slams on the brakes and turns the CTS sideways on the middle of the bridge.He remembers the crush of people earlier in the morning,and a panic attack swells up inside of him.Without really thinking,he opens the door ajar,"If you are leaving,"states Kat,"You need to take me with you."

"How can I take the whole car?"Sam snaps back.

"The I-C3PO,silly."Sam grabs the unit,"Whoa,not so ruff,"and without a plan,exits the car.

The noise from the helicopter come in waves.News reporters are starting to push in on him.As they ask questions,"I'm Robyn Wu..[helicopter noise].N.D. news...Sam,what brings you[helicopter noise]

Sam is back against the railing of the bridge,now,being pressed on all sides.He looks down.Forty feet below is the very cold and deep looking Yahoo river.Just under the railing is an I beam.Sam looks to the helicopter-it's blades stopping-to just beyond the crowd.If he can surprise them by going quickly over the rail.He can walk it;get past the whirlly bird,and then,hopefully be able to jump back into the classically lined Cadillac CTS.

Quickly,he places the I C3PO into his shirt pocket,and hikes himself over the rail.Crikey!Hanging from the rail with both hands he sees that the beam is virtually unwalkable,and farther away then it looks!Sam swings his body a couple of times trying beyond hope to get to it.

Suddenly,Sam feels his fingers staring to slip,bit by bit.

Poof!

Grabbing for the now,non existent railing,Sam yells,"But this isn't supposed to happen until 'McHappily Everafter III' !"