Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Sam hops into his 2000 silver Ford Focus.He sets his work stuff on the passenger seat and his coffee into the cup holder.He starts the car.It rumbles to life.The muffler-or something-is overly loud and shakes the car as it idles.

It is slightly chilly.Sam turns the handle of the heater switch to defrost and then the fan up to high.The air comes out cold,so Sam grabs for a sip of his coffee.Immediately,it seems as if someone is twisting his left eye socket.He tilts his neck-left,his teeth chattering.The words coming out of his mouth quick and short,sounding like Alvin and The Chipmunks singing,"Ooow,Eee,Aaah,Ah Aah."

Slowly ,Sam re-straightens his head,and sets his coffee into the holder,tenderly as if it were nitroglycerin.

Sam has to drive from Peaksville to Helen,Ohio today.He will be working in a factory that he has never been to before.The place is called 'Effenpea'.They make some kind of auto part.All that Sam knows is from 'MapQuest'.It is over an hour and fifteen minutes away.

As he pulls out of the driveway,he mumbles that it is a long way to go for a $10.00 an hour job without benefits.Especially since he doesn't get paid travel or gas.

He drives through downtown Peaksville,past the statue of the human head coming out of the jack-in-the-box,past Rommel's newsstand,and into the 'Speedway'.

$3.20 for a gallon of gas!And it takes him over ten gallons to fill up.There goes three hours of today's pay.Suddenly,Sam needs a pick me up.He goes inside and buys himself a Snickers with Almonds.Back on the highway.

Slowly,all along Rt 47,Sam slips his atomic bred coffee-grimacing like he has just pounded down a double shot of Canadian Mist every time he does so.He turns on 'P-98',and listens to it's local version of bland rock(Don't want to offend anyone).A McDonald's ad comes on for a new'special' tangy sauce for the 'Breakfast Mac' sandwich.Only a buck!

Sam loves the 'Breakfast Mac'.He drools and sighs like Homer Simpson,"OoohOhOh.".How did it take them soo long to come up with the idea of replacing the 'two all beef patties' with 'two pork sausage patties' and serving it up for breakfast?

The sandwich reinvents the jiggle.Sam(and everyone else)likes the commercial where the two kids take turns singing their different versions of it."Two pork sausage patties,special sauce,lettuce,cheese,pickles,onions on a sesame seed bun,"Sam sings to himself."Oh,I hope the new 'special' tangy sauce is just as good as the old 'special' sauce."

Still an hour from Helen,Sam decides that if he has the time,he will stop at Micky D's....Mmmm,a McDonald's coffee,and a Breakfast Mac.Aaah...a Breakfast Mac Meal!!! That's the ticket:-)

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